We Don’t Give No Respect!

“I don’t get no respect!” That was Rodney Dangerfield’s catchphrase.

I say this is terribly true today in the universe of electronic communications where, I point out, it is we that don’t give any respect. In our typing and our composition we are lazy, slovenly, careless, thoughtless, nonchalant — in short, downright disrespectful — and we don’t seem give a whatever about it…until we get no respect ourselves. Then we’re upset.

  • We misspell names of people and businesses.
  • We incorrectly name businesses and organizations.
  • We ignore capitalization of proper names and trademark names.
  • We misquote people, using incorrect words.
  • We type famous quotes, but attribute them to the wrong people.
  • We don’t check our sources to see if they are real or a hoax.
  • We post and publish incorrect links.

Yeah, yeah, so what? Who cares? You know, you know what I mean.

Businesses can’t be so cavalier. Their success depends on enforceable copyrights, brand name identification, proper use of product names, tag lines, quotes, successful SEO, correct URLs, etc.

To start with, misspelling someone’s name is just plain rude. Our names, our choice of spelling, our inclusion of middle names, initials, nicknames are an integral part of how we present ourselves to the world, and how we see, hold, and validate ourselves. When you misspell or incorrectly capitalize someone’s name you are directly insulting them. In my opinion they have every right to be angry.

A misspelling could mean a reader couldn’t find a volume, and an author doesn’t sell a book. A misspelling could mean an innocent person can be harassed for the financial dealings of some ne’er-do-well.

For bloggers and online authors, misspelling other peoples’ names can alienate those folks, and the important trackbacks, reciprocal links and mutual admiration referrals and recommendations may never materialize for you.

When someone reviews our Business Plan Pro product but calls it, say BizinessPro Writer, we lose customers. It can, and will happen to your product as well. When you refer to a product or company or website, check to be sure you are using the correct name.

Ignoring capitalization of letters in names can cause confusion, and possibly a loss of copyright protection. For instance, we all know that Twitter is the proper name of a social communication network, and twitter is a bird song. The soft drink is spelled Coke, but coke is a narcotic and a coal derivative used in making steel.

As another example, take jello. Jell-O [note the capitalization now, if you haven't before] is the protected trade-name, but it has become a generic word for any type of gelatin-based dessert. Go to the store and you’ll see Knox, Royal, a local private label maybe, but to the customer they are all jello and they don’t care which one they buy. You can be sure that Jell-O cares.

Adobe’s Photoshop is well on its way to becoming an eponymous term. Now anytime someone makes a casual remark about manipulating pictures, they say they photoshoped it, regardless of which digital image editing software program they actually used.

It costs businesses billions annually in marketing branding efforts to keep their brand names visible, unique, known and purchased. But lazy, thoughtless, careless typing works everyday to negate the value of your marketing efforts.

No end of trouble, misinterpretation, bad feelings, feuds, lawsuits, destroyed public images and reputations have come about because of misquoting. Something as small as a single letter or two (could, would, should) can change the entire meaning of your business’ publicly made statement of concern to one of callous indifference, and the survival of your company.

Many quotes from literature and famous people from years past have slipped into our vernacular. They are often misquoted and misattributed. Brush up your Shakespeare by Michael Macrone has an entire chapter on popular phrases which people think came from the Bard, but did not. “The long and the short of it” “Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn’d” “Fool’s Paradise” are just few.

This problem is certainly not limited to age-old authors. “Play it again, Sam” – was a line never spoken by Ingrid Bergman or Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca. “Houston, we have a problem.” This is a misstatement of the actual communication between the Apollo 13 astronauts and Mission Control in Houston. Your credibility suffers when you incorrectly quote, or assign the words to the wrong person.

Recently, the U.K. mainstream media was caught not checking their sources adequately. They printed quotes from an elegy for Michael Jackson, from a Twitter post ostensibly by Foreign Secretary, David Miliband. The tweet was actually by a Twitter impostor, a case of identity theft. A significant lapse in due diligence. It damaged the public position of the Foreign Secretary, and discredited the reputation and trustworthiness of those media.

Posting bad links is sloppy and unnecessary. At best, it irritates readers who get the 404 Errors, or end up on a page that has nothing to do with the original publishing. Worse, a bad link loses customers/visitors/business at the intended link. If the author gets affiliate or click-through revenue, publishing a link without checking its accuracy is like throwing money away.

It is time we electronic digital communicators put some polite respect back into our writings. Use spell checkers, proof read, double check and spell correctly the names of people, businesses and products. Don’t assume you’ve got it right. The power of the Internet is just a click away.

After all, if you expect to be respected, you have to show the same respect to others.

Steve Lange
Palo Alto Software

Great New Superlatives Needed

We need to start using some new improved superlatives in our marketing copy. “Great!” you say. Yes, that’s the one. Great really grates on me. Great is so overused that it may as well be blank space. Great carries all the impact of a cotton puff.

Now, there was a time when great really meant something. Take Alexander the Great, king of Macedonia, conqueror of lands, founder of cities for example. Now, he is great. Somehow I just can’t see Product XX’s great online resources changing the political and demographic history of three continents.

Or maybe Ramesses II, Egyptian pharaoh of the Nineteenth dynasty, known as the Great. Can you imagine the great new flavor of Processed Food XXX ruling unchallenged for 66 years, causing the building of cities and monumental sculptures that survive for 3,500 years? Or inspiring poetry such as P.B. Shelley’s Ozymandias “My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”?

OK. Actually, I CAN look on Processed Food XXX and despair. But Processed Food XXX great?!?! Not a chance.

The Great Barrier Reef off Australia’s east coast is truly Great. The reef system is thousands of kilometers long, and hosts a diversity of corals and sea life unmatched on the globe. Somehow it just seems insulting to compare it to the great customer (dis)service system of Company XXXX.

So let’s stop claiming every new and old product or service is great. After all, when every thing is great, nothing is great.

There are plenty of under-utilized superlatives available. Pick up a thesaurus or a dictionary and take a look. Click over to Thesaurus.reference.com, Merriam-Webster.com’s Thesaurus or any of the other online thesauri and peruse some of the

august, capital, chief, commanding, dignified, distinguished, eminent, exalted, excellent, famed, famous, fine, glorious, grand, heroic, high-minded, highly regarded, honorable, idealistic, illustrious, impressive, leading, lofty, magnanimous, main, major, noble, notable, noted, noteworthy, outstanding, paramount, primary, principal, prominent, puissant, regal, remarkable, renowned, royal, stately, sublime, superior, superlative, talented, able, absolute, aces, adept, admirable, adroit, awesome, bad*, best, brutal, cold*, complete, consummate, crack*, downright, dynamite, egregious, exceptional, expert, fab, fantastic, fine, first-class*, first-rate, good, heavy*, hellacious, marvelous, masterly, number one, out of sight, out of this world, out-and-out, perfect, positive, proficient, super-duper, surpassing, terrific, total, tough, transcendent, tremendous, unmitigated, unqualified, utter, wonderful, abundant, ample, big, big league, bulky, bull, colossal, considerable, decided, enormous, excessive, extended, extensive, extravagant, extreme, fat, gigantic, grievous, high, huge, humongous, husky, immense, inordinate, jumbo, lengthy, long, major league, mammoth, mondo, numerous, oversize, prodigious, prolonged, pronounced, protracted, strong, stupendous, terrible, titanic, towering, tremendous, vast, voluminous,

alternatives to great. It is time to spice up and enliven our marketing language.

Steve Lange
Palo Alto Software

TXTG FSHNCY

I try not to get too upset by the texting-based trend of contracting perfectly good words to a rebus of sometimes indecipherable characters. But mostly I just shrug it off because I don’t use those gadgets and tools that specialize in reducing communication clarity.

But sometimes I get a chuckle or good laugh out of the concept. Just the other day I laughed at the May 27 installment of Adrian Raeside’s comic The Other Coast. There the cell phone texter had eliminated almost all the vowels. “omg u r my bfflnmw u qtpi.”

The next day in Working Daze, by John Zakour and Scott Roberts, one of the characters says that she’d save more time if she eliminated all the consonants instead. “AY I EE O EE OU O”.

In keeping with the trends, and moving them forward, I think I’m going adopt both these strategies, removing vowels and removing consonants for my texting, blogging, IMs, and the like. So, you’ll know it’s me when you receive the cogent, succinct, efficient


.”

I look forward to your response, in kind.
Steve Lange
Senior Editor
Palo Alto Software

Correct spelting and edda-ting arrgh fundamental

With the plethora of instant text communciations it is easy for us to become sloppy in our spelling, and when using texting, reducing words to rebuses and abbreviations is near-mandatory.

Still, when you are involved in any form of business writing, especially where you have an outside audience, an audience that has some control over your future, correct spelling, and edit reviews are critical.

One of today’s contributions to Global Entrepereneurship Week is our “Back to the Fundamentals” article Spelling and editing are fundamental business planning activities.

Lessons the pros learn and share

I regularly post on this blog about the importance of accurate spelling and correct grammar. It is an ongoing issue for everyone who works with the written word; in education, in any publishing media, in all facets of business, etc.

But don’t think for a minute that I’m preaching from some high seat of perfection. I regularly have my blog posts reviewed by the other two members of our Documentation Team, and they always find some egregious error. [Thanks Teri and Sara!]

It really is impossible for any of us to be correct all of the time. Even the pros make mistakes.

Philip Corbett, the deputy news editor for The New York Times has just begun a new blog, posting “After Deadline,” The Times’ weekly newsroom critique.

As Corbett explains, “The goal is not to chastise, but to point out recurring problems and suggest solutions. Since most writers encounter similar troubles, we think these observations might interest general readers, too.”

Stop by this blog, enjoy the critiques and comments, and improve your business writing.

My thanks to Andy Isaacson of our Palo Alto Software Web Team who sent me the link to this blog.

Steve Lange
Senior Editor
Palo Alto Software

Spelling checking can be enjoyable

Spell checking should be an automatic task in all our business writing. I don’t mean simply using the built-in spell checkers in software applications. I mean we should be constantly working at improving our own spelling skills.

Of course, many of us have the painful memories of school spelling quizzes and spelling bees. It is difficult to get back into the habit of learning new words.

Here are two books which I just acquired for my reference shelf, by one of my favorite authors, Bill Bryson. His writing style is crisp and he brings his fine sense of humor to the task. Not only does he give the correct spellings, he includes the most frequent misspellings and incorrect usages.

With these two enjoyable books, sprucing up your vocabulary can be fun instead of a drudgery.

Steve Lange
Senior Editor
Palo Alto Software

I don’t think that word means what you think it means

I found the following story on several Internet sites.

At New York’s Kennedy airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, and a calculator.

The Attorney General and the Secretary of Homeland Security believe the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

Al-Gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed. They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on a tangent in a search of absolute value.

They consist of quite shadowy figures, with names like “x” and “y”, and, although they are frequently referred to as “unknowns”, we know they really belong to a common denominator and are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

As the great Greek mathematician Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every triangle, and if God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.

Therefore, I’m extremely grateful that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are so willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard.

These statistic scumbags love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence.

Under the circumferences, it’s time we differentiated their root, made our point, and drew the line. These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimate everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex.

As our Great Leader would say, “Read my ellipse.”

Here is one principle he knows with certainty, they continue to multiply, their days are numbered and the hypotenuse will tighten around their necks.

Funny, yes? I think so.

Mark Twain said, “The difference between the right word and the almost-right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning-bug.”

The story above is also a cautionary tale about spell checker software, and the almost-right word. Everything in that story is spelled correctly, but many words are very incorrect in the context of Homeland Security. My spell checker just breezed right on by those.

If you make similar mistakes in the business plan you submit, the bank, the investors, the venture competition judges, or your MBA professors will also get a good laugh … and keep right on chuckling as they send your plan to the Out box.

Proofread your plan. Have someone who wasn’t involved in writing the plan read it over. Implement the edit suggestions you receive.

Steve Lange
Palo Alto Software

Ow! Oh, my aching spell checker!

This article titled Lolcat site hiring; spelling skillz optional appeared in Yahoo! News today.

“I can haz dream Job? My rezumez! let me showz u thm”
That’s the subject line of a cover letter sent by a job applicant to I Can Has Cheezburger, one of the premier sites for so-called Lolcat pictures.

“I got a stack of résumés that I can’t even go through,” said Ben Huh, founder of the site. “You know how they say, ‘Spell everything correctly because the people reading your résumé will toss it out otherwise?’ Well, we can’t even do that. We won’t knock you out for spelling…. The traditional résumé screening methods don’t apply here.”

This intentional devolution of language makes an old curmudgeon editor such as myself just cringe.

Now, I get a chuckle out of these photos and captions too, but you have to know how to spell correctly in order to get the most humor benefit from the misspelling.

To say that it is acceptable to have just a little misspelling on your résumé, or your business plan, is like Homer Simpson sitting at the nuclear power plant controls saying “Don’t worry. It’s OK. The needle is just a little bit into the red zone. Now, where are those donuts?”

Use your spell checker. Proofread your work, or all of your efforts could blow up.

Steve Lange
Senior Editor
Palo Alto Software